When I first started school, I made friends easily.
I had a lot by the 1st grade. Then my friends just stopped talking to me. By the 4th Grade I only had one friend and he soon
left me too. When i went into Jr. High I was teased all the time. My 7th grade year my parents took me out of public
schools to home school me. That didn't stop anything. When I went with mom to pick up my brothers.. they would be there
laughing at me. They would even ride by my house and tease. I know this seems like pitifull stuff, but not when you are 12
or 13 yrs old. I was angry.I was angry at the other kids, at myself and at this so-called loving God. I eventualy (around
the beggining of my 6th grade year)stopped believing in God, because if there was a God, surely he would stop this somehow.
After starting theolgy (the study of God) studies, I soon (mid 7th grade year) became a Diest. I believed there
was a God, and that God created the earth, but after that he kept his nose out of our bussiness. For one last desperate
attempt to make it stop, we moved. From Martinsville, IN to Lawrencville, IL. When I first moved here, I didn't talk much
because my self-esteem had been turned into rubble. I know people must have thought I was preppy, because I would just answer
with short sentences when they talked to me. And when one of those "perfect" blue eyed and blond haired athlete
tried to talk to me i answered with even less words becasue I was sure he was making fun of me. It turns out that perfect
[well, not so much. Sorry Jordan! :)] blond haired and blue eyed athelete became my closest friends. Life got better. I started
talking and made a lot of friends.
About the time I moved here, a Youth Minister (Matt)
moved in and started working at the church I now attend. He had had a troubling time in TN the same time I was having trouble
in IN. His trouble was a lot worse and it cost him his job there. He and the senior minister wanted to have 2 services. One
for the old fashioned people and one for the young people. The older people didn't like the idea of change. They started acting
like 5 yr olds and started spreading rummors about him, the worst of which was: He perfomed satanic rituals in the basement
of the church. This eventually led to his termination (and the splitting of the church). So Matt got a job at a church here
in IL.
When I started coming to this church, i noticed there
was something different about Matt. Little did I know it was the love of God he showed constantly. Within a year of moving
here, I was baptized by Matt. Life is great. It is my Senior year in highschool and I plan to attend CCCB to get a
BA in Youth and Family Ministry OR Lincoln Christian College to get a BA in Youth and Preaching Ministry.
I realized that God was with me the whole time.
I know it hurt him to let me be treated like I was, but it was all in his great and wonderful plan. Had I not been treated
like that I would be living a sinful, unsaved life. I thank him everyday for the way my life has turned out.
His love endures forever. Well, that is all I have.
Peace!
